What happen next?
I have went through a big roller coaster ride after the break up with my ex a few months ago.
Its not that he dont like me but he have to let me go sine i should be better with someone else other than him. I don't know why he wanna do that. I tell him countless times that i dont want this to happen. I never complain about anything. We never met though we only met just once and that was like good for me.The meeting was by chance, its not that i wanna meet him so badly knowing his hectic working schedule. I understand what he is going through his problems his work, i understand i never make a fuss of not meeting. But in the end i had to let him go after countless tries but he resist that i should find someone better than him.
It upsets me in the end but i have my friends by my side.So i was single again, thinking of waiting for him till he take me back but all answers say that i should just find someone new. So i did in the end but still i will still think of him i will never fade him from my memory.I still read his blog, i still see his facebook to see how his life is going and its going god as the days go on. I was happy for him. I was thinking to myself maybe i shouldnt disturb his happiness and let me continue my life. So as days go on i didnt contact him only at times. Knowing he was happy, there was not to be a worry for him so i can lead my life again but still i will remember him.
So as my life goes on being single, it was not late till i was introduce to someone by my friend. Lets just say its been long i did the 'can i get to know you' thing. Thought its gonna turn out bad in the end but it didnt. I finally get to know more about him. A days goes on, i hang out wif him more and also with his friends. But i ws angry at myself why i had this feelings towards him. He told me about it and obviously i cant hide it. Even my friend notcie it that i like him more than that. But why.
He only see me as a friend in the end. He likes someone else. I can only be his friend.I can only help him. We both were in the same page since we both just break up. I need to get rid of this feelings. This feelings has cause me to show the ugly side of me towards my best friend and i dun wan that. In the end i did after timeless of crying and telling myself i should move on.
So i did move on in a matter of days with this other guy which turns out to be his brother.
OMG what was i thinking. Maybe it was a wrong move but well he was nice to me, really nice.
Maybe this is a new start i guess. As days gone by i started to like him n care for him. But my friends dont see me going on with him but i do. Thats when i was confuse at one point when i find out he is attach but he say he is not. Days goes on and i try to find the answer. My friend tell me to forget about him if he is attach but i was so stubborn i dont want to leave him.
Not long enough another guy came into my life, he was my best friends friend but to me he was a stranger at first. Till he told me about his feelings towards me. I didnt know what to do i was stuck between two guys. I was really stress i didnt know what to do, him or him urgh. I like this guy but another guy likes me.Haizzz. As days goes on, the guy who likes me told me the truth about the guy i like. I finally know that i was so stupid and i had been a victim. I didnt want thi to happen again. I was thankful to the guy who like me.
So i decided to get to know this guy who likes me. But i was shy coz i still see him as a stranger. I was still not comfortable with him and i was still liking the guy but i had to snap out of it and move on. So i try to get to know him and as it goes i started to like him naturally. I started to care for him and all. I had not does this for a long time. Could it be the start of something between me and him. I dont know. WE dated and it goes well i was starting to love him more.
Then some thing was going on. Everything changed in a moments time. What happen? Had i miss something? What happen to us before doesnt happen again now. I didnt know what to do. I try to find the answers but its like im trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle. Im really fed up with this so i thought i just slack by and go with the flow see what happens. But my curiousity increases.
Why is he acting differently towards me now.Things are not like before.I feel i was avoided. I feel i was a nobody to him.My heart hurts. I dont want to think its gonna happen.I dont want to feel paranoid. My friend says i think too much. Sometimes but i dont know.I dont want to let him know i was suffering inside. He is already happy and i dont want to take away his happiness by showing my suffering. Im happy with what he has now. Ive done my job caring for him for this while, being there for him.Maybe its not the time i guess.So i accept it.
SAdness runs through me not that long until I was surprised when my ex call me again after 2 months we were not in contact. I was happy to hear his voice.Listening to his voice makes me happy again.We chatted again for a short while since he is at work.All my tears dried up after hearing him again.Im happy again.
So whats next......only god knows