ep 276

picture pictures

time for a picture entry
enjoy them or not

ep 275

Butter or Zirca

It gotta be Butter hahaz
Me raihan and Alif are going to butter factory later to party.
Not working tomorrow so ya......and im hungry :(
Now hanging out at Dennis hotel room
As for me i just love watching the new beyonce video sweet dreams, very the sweet.
Love those dance moves and the breaking mirror effect.



Sweet dreams or a beautiful nightmare.

ep 274

Im feeling.....

that feeling again
you know
i hope you know

i wanna escape from this again
urgh torture

all i can do now
is think
and cry

ep 273

not out yet

it been a week
and my sis in law havent give birth yet
yeah shes late
dunno y my nephew doesnt wanan come out into this world
its past 9 months already but no signs of giving birth
this must be one slow baby

as for me
i been busy
with work
and babysitting
and work
and babysitting
and work
yup only this two

and life
my life
been thinking alot lately
should i or shouldnt i
i dunwan to compare
if i knew thats the one than its the one
gonna say it one day
win it or lose it
seriously i dun care oredy

ooooh one thing i wanan say out loud
DUN BLOCK MY WAY

i dunno y
whenever im listening to a great song
and i start walking to the beat
i just got it and dunwan to be disturbed
but when walking through the bus interchange with the many people
makes me kinda pissed off

got blockers here
got slow walkers there
got those when u wanan go left he go left then go right he go right until u just have to let he go first
and how about getting stuck by the gate pas i dunno wat izzit call at the mrt control station
and those bicycle riders, just hafta figure out where they r turning to or might as well knock them down haha

haizzz really hate it

ep 272

What happen next?

I have went through a big roller coaster ride after the break up with my ex a few months ago.
Its not that he dont like me but he have to let me go sine i should be better with someone else other than him. I don't know why he wanna do that. I tell him countless times that i dont want this to happen. I never complain about anything. We never met though we only met just once and that was like good for me.The meeting was by chance, its not that i wanna meet him so badly knowing his hectic working schedule. I understand what he is going through his problems his work, i understand i never make a fuss of not meeting. But in the end i had to let him go after countless tries but he resist that i should find someone better than him.

It upsets me in the end but i have my friends by my side.So i was single again, thinking of waiting for him till he take me back but all answers say that i should just find someone new. So i did in the end but still i will still think of him i will never fade him from my memory.I still read his blog, i still see his facebook to see how his life is going and its going god as the days go on. I was happy for him. I was thinking to myself maybe i shouldnt disturb his happiness and let me continue my life. So as days go on i didnt contact him only at times. Knowing he was happy, there was not to be a worry for him so i can lead my life again but still i will remember him.

So as my life goes on being single, it was not late till i was introduce to someone by my friend. Lets just say its been long i did the 'can i get to know you' thing. Thought its gonna turn out bad in the end but it didnt. I finally get to know more about him. A days goes on, i hang out wif him more and also with his friends. But i ws angry at myself why i had this feelings towards him. He told me about it and obviously i cant hide it. Even my friend notcie it that i like him more than that. But why.

He only see me as a friend in the end. He likes someone else. I can only be his friend.I can only help him. We both were in the same page since we both just break up. I need to get rid of this feelings. This feelings has cause me to show the ugly side of me towards my best friend and i dun wan that. In the end i did after timeless of crying and telling myself i should move on.

So i did move on in a matter of days with this other guy which turns out to be his brother.
OMG what was i thinking. Maybe it was a wrong move but well he was nice to me, really nice.
Maybe this is a new start i guess. As days gone by i started to like him n care for him. But my friends dont see me going on with him but i do. Thats when i was confuse at one point when i find out he is attach but he say he is not. Days goes on and i try to find the answer. My friend tell me to forget about him if he is attach but i was so stubborn i dont want to leave him.

Not long enough another guy came into my life, he was my best friends friend but to me he was a stranger at first. Till he told me about his feelings towards me. I didnt know what to do i was stuck between two guys. I was really stress i didnt know what to do, him or him urgh. I like this guy but another guy likes me.Haizzz. As days goes on, the guy who likes me told me the truth about the guy i like. I finally know that i was so stupid and i had been a victim. I didnt want thi to happen again. I was thankful to the guy who like me.

So i decided to get to know this guy who likes me. But i was shy coz i still see him as a stranger. I was still not comfortable with him and i was still liking the guy but i had to snap out of it and move on. So i try to get to know him and as it goes i started to like him naturally. I started to care for him and all. I had not does this for a long time. Could it be the start of something between me and him. I dont know. WE dated and it goes well i was starting to love him more.

Then some thing was going on. Everything changed in a moments time. What happen? Had i miss something? What happen to us before doesnt happen again now. I didnt know what to do. I try to find the answers but its like im trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle. Im really fed up with this so i thought i just slack by and go with the flow see what happens. But my curiousity increases.
Why is he acting differently towards me now.Things are not like before.I feel i was avoided. I feel i was a nobody to him.My heart hurts. I dont want to think its gonna happen.I dont want to feel paranoid. My friend says i think too much. Sometimes but i dont know.I dont want to let him know i was suffering inside. He is already happy and i dont want to take away his happiness by showing my suffering. Im happy with what he has now. Ive done my job caring for him for this while, being there for him.Maybe its not the time i guess.So i accept it.

SAdness runs through me not that long until I was surprised when my ex call me again after 2 months we were not in contact. I was happy to hear his voice.Listening to his voice makes me happy again.We chatted again for a short while since he is at work.All my tears dried up after hearing him again.Im happy again.

So whats next......only god knows

ep 271

Battlefield

ep 270

gay pop?


today my sargent ask the weirdest question.
he is a big fantaic in metallica so while i was doing my paperwork as per normal
he ask me
"khai, you know we got this indie pop all those, is there such thing as gay pop?"
i was like huh gay pop tak tau eh
got such thing ke as gay pop
seriously i dunno
but there are songs that sound gay in the beat i mean
i especially like this song, its old but still i like it



and how about this,all gays should know this, maybe this is gay pop i dunnola



and the most famous song gays like i guess......



muahahaha.....

enjoy loh

ep 269

For u........

Today I m feeling so low as you are not with me,
I miss u every moment wherever I may be.

My mind sets no where and just thinks about you,
I wanna talk a lot with you but our talks are due.

My lips are trembling and calling your name,
I cannot see you in front of me and I m going through this pain.

My tears are in trauma should they flow out or lay inside,
they want to roll down my cheeks but could not decide.

My one hand holds the other as it cannot hold yours,
It wanders for only your warm touch , I m sure.

My heart beats gets faster wishing you might be here,
giving me the feel of joy, love and care.

How much I love you is all i know,
i just feel it and I dont want to show.

I miss you with every beat of my heart, no doubt
you are the only one of whom i can think about.....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For so long this worlds been dull,
Day by day came and I never felt full.
You suddenly came out of the blue,

I couldn't believe that it was true.
The way you make me feel,
Wow man it's so surreal.
You fill my world with bright color and light,

Its never been quite so right.
You're so very amazing and sweet.
Just thoughts of you make my heart skip a beat.

I am yours and you're mine,
We promised and that's fine.
Because I wouldn't have it any other way,
I love you and I'm here to stay.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

We are alone and there is no one else
I’ve been waiting this perfect time
I feel the love whenever we are together
Finally I’m in your arms, I’m yours

I realized when I look inside my heart
Your eyes, face and your smile
There is something in you that my heart melts
I couldn’t ask for more than having you in my life.

Now every moment is worthwhile waiting for
I love you and I will always will
There is no better time that being with you
I’m yours and forever will be.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

ep 268

Only me and my lappie


Yesterday night didnt go well as plan.
Thought wanna go clubbing that night but alif back out and wanted to go home.
Luckily i was still at home.
Was so engrossed watching Finding Nemo on disney channel that i wanted to come late hehez.
Well i was waiting to meet abg randy to give me the games before i go off.
But since he wanted to meet me at 9 plus, had to tell alif i was coming late.

So in the end i didnt go clubbing, had to tell raihan i cant make it.
Yes my fault as always kan.
Satu balik rumah coz teman idaman dia tak dapat datang.
So if i wanna go clubbing it will only be me and raihan but raihan coming at 1am no way im gonna wait all by myself until 1am. NO WAY.


Met up with abg randy under my blk, get to play with his children.
Its been long i seen him.
The last time i saw him was like early last year.
We chat and chat for like an hour.
Got my games.
And ciao.


So the night was only me, my games and my lappie. YEAH
Finally i get to play Sims 3 woohooo.
Sorryla big fan of the sims.

ep 267

bitch me

hmm let see...

im stupid
im ugly
im an idiot
im pathetic
im dumb
im hopeless
im nerdy
im geeky
im slow
im a blur sotong
im lazy
im a gundu
im a slut
im a flirt


is there more....